If you don't read Hot Clicks on si.com, you really should. On a daily basis, they provide readers with a myriad of links that contain gorgeous women, comical stories, and interesting ideas on many different levels.
A headline that appeared on Monday's version of Hot Clicks got me fired up, though. It was named "Lame Lions" and read, "Over the years, has the single-worst position in the NFL been quarterback for the Detroit Lions? After seeing this post, it's hard to argue otherwise."
I smell a challenge!
Oh yes, the Lions may be 0-9 this season. Yes, they do have the worst record in the NFL since 2001 - mainly due to the disastrous reign of one, Matt Millen. That doesn't mean, however, that the quarterback position for the Detroit Lions is the runaway winner for most futile position in the league. I believe a case needs to be made for another position: Quarterback of the Chicago Bears.
To be fair...let's just look at quarterbacks since McMahon was shuffling behind Sweetness to a Super Bowl ring, shall we? Wouldn't want this to get too ugly. Plus, bringing up the dark days of Gary Huff, Bob Avellini, Bobby Douglass, Vince Evans and other guys from the 70's would invoke too much pain to my brethren in the Bear community. Plus, most of people reading wouldn't know who the hell I was talking about.
* Denotes First Round Pick
The Hall of Halas
1. Jim McMahon* (1982-1988): The only reason he tops the list is because he got a Super Bowl ring. We wont talk about the fact that he may wear that ring on his ear now.
2. Erik Kramer (1993-1998): (I stood corrected after a reader comment) He led the Bears to precisely ZERO playoff appearance during his tenure, but makes the list because he is the franchise leader in touchdown to interception ratio. No, that's not a joke. His +18 TD/INT is the best ever....EVER!!
Solid, But I'm Not Gonna Wet My Pants
1. Kyle Orton (2005-present): Too soon? Nahhh. He's in that elite fraternity of guys that has more TDs than INTs since Jimmy Mac. His supporters would quickly defend his status here by telling the world that the Bears are 15-8 in games that he has started in his short career. The neck beard puts him over the top for me.
2. Jim Miller (1999-2002): He gave us a division title in 2001, and posted nearly 6,000 passing yards over his four years in Chicago. If only he didn't get injured against the Eagles in '01, we might have had a chance. Ehhhhh, maybe not...
3. Jim Harbaugh* (1987-1993): This is a stretch. Ahhhh, what the hell. He did lead the Windy City to a couple of playoff appearances in '90 and '91, and even got himself a division title out of the deal. The highlight of his career: Coaching Stanford past USC in 2007.
Mediocre Molly's
1. Brian Griese (2006-2007): The Bears spent a lot of money on him to pressure Rex Grossman into being better. Didn't Rex prove that he cracks like a gangster being offered parole during the 2006 season? Maybe I missed something here.
2. Chris Chandler (2002-2003): His Wikipedia page lists one of his career highlights as the "only quarterback to ever achieve single-game passer ratings of 0 and 158.3 (which is a perfect rating)." He was our insurance card when Jim Miller went down. Guess we didn't buy All State!
3. Shane Matthews (1999-2001): He didn't help the Bears, but he didn't kill them either. So he gets the nod into this group. Chris Berman did nickname him 'The Shane Matthews Band.' I guess that's cool! NOT!
Chopping Off a Foot Would Have No Effect
1. Rex Grossman* (2003-present): Seriously, if you hacked off Rex's left foot, would it affect how he plays? He throws all of his passes off his back foot, and the cut in height couldn't possibly make his percentage of deflected passes go any higher. If I had to gauge his speed on a scale of 1-10, he would get a -12. Folks, don't tell me he led the Bears to a Super Bowl. They got there despite of him!
Backups Who Sucked Being Backups in Dallas
1. Steve Walsh (1994): He was drafted by Cowboys with the first pick in the 1989 Supplemental draft, costing the Cowboys their first round pick in 1990 - after finishing 1-15. He fits right into the Bears team concept.
2. Chad Hutchinson (2004): Amazingly, his baseball career sucked more than is NFL career. He pitched four innings for the 2001 St. Louis Cardinals, and racked up an ERA of 24.75. He gave up as many earned runs (11) as he threw touchdowns.
More Backup Bombshells
1. Steve Stenstrom (1996-1998): Did his mom even know he played football? I doubt it.
2. Mike Tomczak (1985-1990): Not only did Bears fans have to put up with his crappy throwing on the field, but you were stuck with him when Harbaugh inevitably got injured in Tecmo Super Bowl. Trust me, he sucked there too!
The Doctors You Wouldn't Want Performing Surgery On You
1. Craig Krenzel (2004): Maybe he's not a doctor, but he's smarter than most of the ones you go to. The dude majored in molecular genetics at Ohio State. Too bad he sucked at being a quarterback. Can't think your way out of a sack, can ya? CAN YA?
2. Jonathon Quinn (2004): My bad. I'm mixing him up with Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman. My mistake. Sorry.
The Franchise Hope...Killers
1. Cade McNown* (1999-2000): Here's the epitome of his work ethic: He pled no contest in 1996 for illegal possession of handicapped parking pass. Not only was he too lazy to walk the extra 50 feet to the Bruins practice facililty, he was too lazy to fight it to.
2. Kordell Stewart (2003): 'Slash' was supposed to buoy the QB position in Chicago to the hope of the future, Rex Grossman. Instead, he sent me into the fetal position for nearly five years. Thanks, Kordell.
3. Rick Mirer* (1997): You may be questioning my * there, but look at the history books folks. I know the Bears didn't draft him, but they traded a freaking first round pick for this waste of space after two awful years in Seattle. He promptly threw no TDs and six picks, and was released at the end of the year.
The Guys With Two First Names
1. Dave Kreig (1996): He wasn't that awful (6-6 record playing for the injured Erik Kramer), but since I didn't know what group to put him in, I decided to make a one specifically for him. Then I realized, he wasn't alone...
2. Jeff Blake (2005): He was 8-9 for 55 yards and a TD in his only appearance in a Bears uniform. I demand to know why we didn't more of him! I WANT THE TRUTH!
The Guy With THREE First Names
1. Peter Tom Willis (1990-1993): He must have been a mistake because his parents clearly hated him.
They Didn't Do God's Work
1. Moses Moreno (1998): This Moses couldn't even part opposing defenses, let alone the Red Sea.
2. Cory Sauter (2002): His completion percentage with Chicago was .666 (repeating). Cory Sauter is the devil!!!
The >36% Completion Club
1. Will Furrer (1992): He was 9-25 for 89 yards and three picks. Sounds like someone I know...
2. Henry Burris (2002): He started in Calgary. then went to Saskatchewan, followed that up with Green Bay, flew south to Chicago, was banished to Berlin, got pissed and went back to Saskatchewan, and settled back down in Calgary. Did he miss the memo that the South is warmer???
If you want to argue a position more futile than Chicago Bears QBs, you best bring yo' A-Game! These guys sure as hell didn't.
Brian Griese,
Reader Comments (16)
All this research & info and you still don't know your Bear QBs. The Bears made the playoffs exactly ZERO times under Erik Kramer's leadership. Steve Walsh led the 1994 team to the playoffs and a wild card victory over the Vikings.
Actually Kramer was the QB of the Bears in 95 when they got pounded by the 49ers, but they were in the playoffs.
To add to JCK's point on Walsh, he went 8-3 as a starter for the Bears in 1994 (according to pro-football-reference.com)—although his 10/8 TD/Int. ratio isn't anything to write home about.
Can we please NEVER AGAIN use record as a stat to say whether or not QB's are good? Outside of the first six games of '06, Rex Grossman was one of the worst QB's in the league. He had a good record because of a halfway decent running game, and a top-of-the-line defense.
You're right about Kramer though. I mixed up my '94 and '95.
No Justin, you are wrong as well. They missed the playoffs in 1995 when Kramer had his career year. They went to the playoffs in 1994 with Walsh at the helm, beating the Vikes in the wildcard and getting their butts whipped by the Niners the following week.
Where the hell is Danny Wuerfell? Haters.
What about Rusty Lisch? David Humm? Steve Fuller? The list of bad Bears Quarterbacks is second to none.
No passes, no luck. Danny didn't attempt any passes with Da Bears.
Lisch, Humm, and Fuller we're all pre-McMahon (remember, the post only does the last 20 years). Also, Humm never threw a pass for Chicago.
As a non-Bears fan I approve of all of these comments, but none of these QBs.
I have a Bobby Douglas football card. I think he was one of the first of the "big" qb's to play. Kreig wasn't a bad qb, but he was 41 years old when he played for the Bears.
No such thing as "a myriad of" - it's "myriad," period.
If Eric Kramer is number 2 on your list its a bad sign.
http://thingsfatpeoplehate.wordpress.com/2008/10/27/larry-johnson-ladies-man/
Just so you know, that walk down memory lane was troubling. I feel the need for a cold shower and some therapy. Henry Burris, shame on you.
Maybe the time machine will become a reality, and someone will go back about 65 years and bring back Sid Luckman...
Great stuff...as a non bears fan, very intresting to think back about all these hacks...mike tomczack? He doesnt even remember being a qb for the bears. and in defense of kordell...he was second option when jake plummer signed with denver...great post (I hear women all over NW IL love this blog)
It's funny because Burris has finally reached his potential and is now a championship QB on the CFL. Took lots of work to get there though.